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Failed Idea #48 – LOLpops
The whole collection of emojis in lickable, high-fructose corn syrup format. On a stick.
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Failed Idea #183 – Corkscrew beach umbrellas
Forget battery farms and milkbars going out of business: the saddest sight in the world is watching someone struggle with a sentient umbrella. Beach umbrellas even more so.
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Fill Yer Hump Up: Chinese Humplings
Woos the ladies and repulses the vegans: a winning combination.